On Clubbing
I really wanted to get this entry out last week. Unfortunately the outside world had other plans for me. It involved a lot of broken computers and downtime. Anyway last week, I went to the liberal arts campus to spend some time with friends that live there. Since I moved to this cold desolate engineering campus, I have not spoken to a lot of the people there. It almost makes me think I made a mistake. Then I remember how well I study in the quiet, and the engineering campus does get very quiet.
The general plan was for me to come down to the campus and then go with a bunch of my friends there to a club in the city. Unfortunately I did not have proper attire for the event. So I could only merely walk my friends to the train and then walk back to campus. Now that I was on this liberal arts campus, I needed something to do. This wandering eventually brought me to my friend Brian's door. He was with his girlfriend at the time, but still was up for some philosophical conversation. The details of the talk are pretty broad, and much better explained at Brain's blog: http://defeattheskeptic.blogspot.com .
Eventually, after a fatty fast-food meal, I bid Brian a farewell and went to visit another friend of mine. I caught her at a bad time. She was actually planning on heading out. Given that I was bored and did not have anything better to do, I tagged along. To make the story easier to follow I will label by friend T for further reference. T grabbed two other girls, and another guy, joined us, as we went to a party at a local frat. This was interesting since I had never gone to a frat party before, and did not really intend to now. But all that idleness finally got the best of me and I walked through that fraternity door.
When I got in I was given a cup and lead to walk downstairs into their basement. There the music was loud but it was tolerable. The genre was not really to my liking but it was managable. T led me to a bar where she wanted me to drink. Sadly, I do not like the taste of beer, and spent the rest of night just grabbing beer and pouring it to her. It was around this time that I became aware of my own perspective on this party. What was the purpose of the different people here? Was there a more effective way to achieve their goals?
From what I observed there was the overarching goal of have fun, which on subseqent goals share. I only bring this up since I feel that to some extent that is the point of a party, and sometimes it really is that simple. The problem is most of the patrons are a bit more hedonistic in their goals. First is the people that came just to get drunk. It is pretty obvious who they are, since all they do is sit by the bar and drink with their friends. They do not move and they do not dance. They have taken the 2 dollar cover as an all-you-can drink invitation. Though there really has to be a better place to drink. A pretty investment can certainly get a more cozy and tasty beverage. Why be in that loud place, just for beer.
Second is the people that just want to dance. This one is plausible, but it certainly is never a defining reason. I give that as my official reason for showing up since I really had no other purpose to be there. The problem with this logic is that the music in this frat is identical to others and the space is very cramped. A more suitable place to dance shouldnt be too hard to find. The third reason is simply to have hook up with others and possibly have some sex.
I found this to be the most likely reason for a lot of people being there. I certainly held the thought almost continuously when I was there. Though in holding the thought I made lots of obervations. I noted that couples will go to the frat and bump into each other and make out. I also noted the same few people going from person to person looking to dance. I was inclined not to care and simply danced. As time waned on, more and more guys were entering the dance floor and more and more women were leaving it. The sexual nature of the atmosphere intensified as guys scrounged for the remaining girls. I left with T and another girl shortly afterwards.
What really amazes me is how much guys like to go after girls in this situation. Clearly unless you have your A-game on this is not a fun situation. I had not run into anyone there that wanted to banter lightly. There is a genetic addiction to sex. While that is not really a new insight I feel people missing that the whole affair is, evolutionary, a carrot on a stick.
There is no evolutionary payoff in enjoying sex or any particular moment in this whole dating process. There needs to only be the illusion of payoff. If you do action X you will feel good. No one seems to notice that what actually occurs is that you feel inclined to do action Y, and then inclined to do action Z , etc. It really is a shame, but you have to rationally think. If I felt excellent just flirting with this girl, why should I push it further? Now if I feel good, but now I have this intuition that I will feel better if put my arm around the girl's waist. Suddenly there is a feedback system that propels you through these actions.
It really is a shame that evolution does this to you, but it seems to work so you have to deal with this genetic baggage. Humans are social animals and a great deal of evolution has actually been to out compete your fellow human. So that situation where the ratio of men to women started to tip till the men needed to compete for resources was a classic evolutionary situation. That means we have been designed to handle situations like it. That means there was no natural advantage and your body was tricked. I knew my body was tricked when I walked outside and saw 10 women just standing around do nothing. Clearly our genetic predisposition can get the best of us. This is why is it so crucial to understand it.
The general plan was for me to come down to the campus and then go with a bunch of my friends there to a club in the city. Unfortunately I did not have proper attire for the event. So I could only merely walk my friends to the train and then walk back to campus. Now that I was on this liberal arts campus, I needed something to do. This wandering eventually brought me to my friend Brian's door. He was with his girlfriend at the time, but still was up for some philosophical conversation. The details of the talk are pretty broad, and much better explained at Brain's blog: http://defeattheskeptic.blogspot.com .
Eventually, after a fatty fast-food meal, I bid Brian a farewell and went to visit another friend of mine. I caught her at a bad time. She was actually planning on heading out. Given that I was bored and did not have anything better to do, I tagged along. To make the story easier to follow I will label by friend T for further reference. T grabbed two other girls, and another guy, joined us, as we went to a party at a local frat. This was interesting since I had never gone to a frat party before, and did not really intend to now. But all that idleness finally got the best of me and I walked through that fraternity door.
When I got in I was given a cup and lead to walk downstairs into their basement. There the music was loud but it was tolerable. The genre was not really to my liking but it was managable. T led me to a bar where she wanted me to drink. Sadly, I do not like the taste of beer, and spent the rest of night just grabbing beer and pouring it to her. It was around this time that I became aware of my own perspective on this party. What was the purpose of the different people here? Was there a more effective way to achieve their goals?
From what I observed there was the overarching goal of have fun, which on subseqent goals share. I only bring this up since I feel that to some extent that is the point of a party, and sometimes it really is that simple. The problem is most of the patrons are a bit more hedonistic in their goals. First is the people that came just to get drunk. It is pretty obvious who they are, since all they do is sit by the bar and drink with their friends. They do not move and they do not dance. They have taken the 2 dollar cover as an all-you-can drink invitation. Though there really has to be a better place to drink. A pretty investment can certainly get a more cozy and tasty beverage. Why be in that loud place, just for beer.
Second is the people that just want to dance. This one is plausible, but it certainly is never a defining reason. I give that as my official reason for showing up since I really had no other purpose to be there. The problem with this logic is that the music in this frat is identical to others and the space is very cramped. A more suitable place to dance shouldnt be too hard to find. The third reason is simply to have hook up with others and possibly have some sex.
I found this to be the most likely reason for a lot of people being there. I certainly held the thought almost continuously when I was there. Though in holding the thought I made lots of obervations. I noted that couples will go to the frat and bump into each other and make out. I also noted the same few people going from person to person looking to dance. I was inclined not to care and simply danced. As time waned on, more and more guys were entering the dance floor and more and more women were leaving it. The sexual nature of the atmosphere intensified as guys scrounged for the remaining girls. I left with T and another girl shortly afterwards.
What really amazes me is how much guys like to go after girls in this situation. Clearly unless you have your A-game on this is not a fun situation. I had not run into anyone there that wanted to banter lightly. There is a genetic addiction to sex. While that is not really a new insight I feel people missing that the whole affair is, evolutionary, a carrot on a stick.
There is no evolutionary payoff in enjoying sex or any particular moment in this whole dating process. There needs to only be the illusion of payoff. If you do action X you will feel good. No one seems to notice that what actually occurs is that you feel inclined to do action Y, and then inclined to do action Z , etc. It really is a shame, but you have to rationally think. If I felt excellent just flirting with this girl, why should I push it further? Now if I feel good, but now I have this intuition that I will feel better if put my arm around the girl's waist. Suddenly there is a feedback system that propels you through these actions.
It really is a shame that evolution does this to you, but it seems to work so you have to deal with this genetic baggage. Humans are social animals and a great deal of evolution has actually been to out compete your fellow human. So that situation where the ratio of men to women started to tip till the men needed to compete for resources was a classic evolutionary situation. That means we have been designed to handle situations like it. That means there was no natural advantage and your body was tricked. I knew my body was tricked when I walked outside and saw 10 women just standing around do nothing. Clearly our genetic predisposition can get the best of us. This is why is it so crucial to understand it.
posted by James Ridley at 8:26 PM
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